"My Lousy Kid Couldn't Even Beat Up Your Honor Student" Stickers
"It's true. It's a shame, and I couldn't be more embarrassed. I've finally come to terms with my child's total absence of intelligence, his sheer lack of brazen virility that should have been it's substitute, his asthma, and his life-threatening peanut allergy that has rendered even the A-Students decisively physically superior. Is it unfortunate? Absolutely. Is it Impossible? Well, I thought it was."