"I Stole This Backpack" - Backpack
Let's just say that this is one item you should never leave laying around. This backpack is perfect for everyday use, for promoting suspicion as you walk down the hallways, and most importantly, for getting a few more high fives from all the cool kids. That's right. No more swirlies for you, bud. You know why? You just threw your nerdy reputation out the door by presenting the idea that a crime has been committed, and the popular kids love that.