We Have Some Questions About Driverless Cars, and We Want Answers.
by Dead Ends Entertainmenton December 01, 2017
After nearly no research on the topic, we decided to let imagination and unjustified fear take the wheel as we jotted down our biggest concerns regarding driverless cars. Perhaps some of these have already been answered. Perhaps we are stupid for asking. But we're not sure we care.
1.) Will the Elderly be "Driving" Longer?
With the incredible amount of elderly drivers swerving recklessly all over the goddamn road, and with the assumption that most of them will fail their driver's test within the next few years, can we assume that they'll give in and adopt the new technology that will let them effortlessly get from place to place without inducing rage from all those around them? We need an answer.
2.) When we Get Into a Car Crash With a Robot, Will we be Satisfied with Placing Blame on Something That Isn't Human?
Let's face it. We all know that we'll eventually crash head-on with a malfunctioning driverless car, and it definitely won't be our fault. But when this happens, will we be okay with climbing out of the pile of twisted metal to scream at it? Will we feel satisfied with helplessly yelling "WHYYY!!" into the nothingness of the empty highway at 2:00am? Or will we yearn for a doughy, apologetic face to smash our shaking fist through? It's just a question.
3.) Will it be Easier to Transport Fuckloads of Cocaine?
This should have a relatively straightforward answer. We're just asking. We don't do cocaine, and we also currently would not know how to transport it even if we did.
4.) How Easy Would it be to Steal a Driverless Car?
If you stand in the middle of the highway waiting for the driverless car to stop in front of you, how easy would it be to just smash a crowbar through the driver-side window, hop in, and take it for care-free cruise down to Cancun for a few weeks just to get away from it all? Just wondering.
5.) What Happens if You Steal A Cocaine-Filled Driverless Car from an Elderly Woman and Accidentally Crash Head on With Another Driverless Car on Your Way to Cancun? And What if You Asked for None of This? What if You just Thought it Was a Regular Driverless Car? You know, The Kind Without Elderly Women and Huge Sacks of Drugs?