Tyler Elpers: Lord of Lords / Call Center Champion

by Sam Kubanon June 30, 2017

About Tyler Elpers:

Tyler Elpers burst powerfully through the womb as a man among men, a God among gods, and a beacon of hope for all who call this hopeless planet home. Since the day of his birth, Tyler has scattered his unparalleled manhood across the earth, spreading his royal seed throughout all seven continents. He has fathered several hundred children, all divine and of heroic descent. 

What He's Doing Now:

Ty currently spends his days as a phone guru for CollarCaller, the hotline for urgent issues regarding technical bugs and faulty wiring for PupZap, the hottest pet accessory to hit the market since fall of '15. He has received "Guru of the Month" seven out of the eighteen months of his employment. CollarCaller takes pride in the efforts their gurus put forth to help establish the ever-growing "Pawsome Atmosphere" for their callers. CollarCaller boasts a whopping "15,000 Pupstomers Served" and will continue to disrupt and push the boundaries of the call center world, especially with Ty as the team leader.

Ty's Interests:

- Playing the Lute

- Hacking into Foreign Govt. Databases

- Pleasing Customers

Why Tyler Elpers Will Forever be Remembered:

Tyler Elpers will always be remembered for his absolute heroism, his indisputable divinity, and his unparalleled achievement in the telecommunications industry. 

 

TYLER ELPERS ORDERED THE "WE LIKE YOU PACK" ON THE ROTTEN PLOTS CROWDFUNDING CAMPAIGN.

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