"Stephen Kink": 6 Stephen King Novels Reimagined as Smut Classics

by Roger Brimbleon September 18, 2017

Stephen Kink

What if the master of horror took a break from writing spine-tingling terror novels and reimagined some of his most notable works as irresistible smut fiction? We went ahead and started the process for him, just in case he decides to make that idea a reality sometime in the near future.

1.) Night Shaft: (Night Shift)

In this collection of short smut stories, Stephen gets down to the nitty gritty of what everyone really wants. Dirty, aggressive passion with as little foreplay as possible.

2.) 69.69.69 (11.22.63)

This fantasy chronicles the incident of a president of the United States accidentally falling into a time portal that takes him to an impossible date in a realm that is overrun with sex-starved humanoids. Will he ever figure out how to get back to America? Will tons of oral sex possibly be his ticket out of this foreign land and impossible date? Yes. Definitely.

3.) Salem's Slot: (Salem's Lot)

This classic romantic novel is, in a lot of ways, about unending love. But it's mostly about people turning into vampires by having raucous unprotected sex with a horny vamp named Salem.

4.) The Dark Tower: Wizards and Ass - (Wizard and Glass)

It's obvious what the Dark Tower represents. But that doesn't mean the story behind it is easily explained. Since Stephen couldn't bare to condense all the powers of this glorious, magic erection into one novel, he broke it into a few parts. This installment, "Wizards and Ass" chronicles a fantastical land filled with mystical beings who simply can't get enough-o-dat booty.

5.) The Dark Tower: Dong of Susannah (Song of Susannah) 

This installment of the Dark Tower series details the sexual struggles of Savannah, a human with a heckuva hog and the face of an angel. Controversial? Sure. Sexy? Absolutely.

6.) The Dark Tower: The Nun Swinger (The Gunslinger)

Holy Shit! This installment of the Dark Tower series is as sexy as they come! It's a breathtaking read detailing this former servant of God's married life as well as her and her husband's extramarital affairs with an almost never-ending list of sexual partners! WOW!

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Share this with your friends, and see if they can think of any other "Stephen Kink" titles.

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