WOW. Our Alien Abduction Article Helped Unmask A Real Pedophile. You Need To Read This.

by Doug Pattersonon August 10, 2017

THIS IS A REAL STORY.

As some of you may know, a few days ago we wrote an article called "5 Things We Learned About Aliens After Joining An Abduction Support Group."

We thought it would be pretty funny (and also pretty ridiculous) if we posted it in the actual support group that we were documenting. So we did. And while we thought there would be some pretty interesting drama that ensued, there was absolutely no way we could have guessed it would end up like this.

We posted the article with total transparency, with the article writer's name displayed prominently, and of course, matching the name of his Facebook profile. 

There was no interaction for a few hours, so we didn't think anything of it. 

Then all of a sudden:

In a fleeting moment of uncertainty and worry, we hid the article from our site. Why? Who the hell knows. Some members were happy. Some were not.

It turns out that hiding the blog post was right move, because this is where this situation's insanity deepens.

We got a message from an admin of the abduction support group saying that he wanted to read the blog post we had hidden. We were skeptical at first, but upon questioning him, and upon his admittance of himself being a troll, we made the blog post visible again.

The admin was psyched that this article breathed a new life into the support group that had gone stale and had grown boring. So now that he knew that he wasn't the only troll, and now that he knew he had support, he decided to make things a little more interesting.

A few months prior to us posting the article, he had created a fake account to piss off a real person who was posting aggressive and hostile remarks to someone he cared about. He added a ton of friends. Within this group of freshly acquired acquaintances was a pretty goddamn creepy 32-year-old man. This man sent this fake account a shocking and totally unprompted message. You know exactly what we mean by "message." So after a few interactions, the admin felt it was his duty to expose this man for exposing himself. As the fake account's age got younger and younger with each message, and as the man's replies simultaneously grew more and more creepy, the fake account posted it on "her" profile. This raged him up pretty hard.

After the admin realized what an insane person this guy was, he decided to invite him to join the absolute garbage fire that was the Alien Abduction support group page. He accepted the invitation immediately like any psychotic pedophile would.

Here's where it gets pretty damn confusing:

The admin who created the fake account that received the dick pics created a second fake account with the same name as the pedophile's long time girlfriend. The very moment that the pedophile accepted the invitation to join the Alien Abduction Support Group, "his girlfriend" posted a status:

 

The pedophile responds to this situation with "LOL." Upon the realization that this guy was actually going to interact with the group, "the girlfriend" immediately called him out on the act of sending dick pics to an underage account:

Not only is this man a mentally unstable pedophile. He spelled "whore" as "HOER" over one hundred times in under thirty minutes and thinks that he is interacting with his real girlfriend. It is simultaneously disgusting and overwhelmingly impressive.

So after this post lost some steam, the comment section of other posts got hijacked. This pedophile kept insisting that he will have his girlfriend "charged" for obtaining and posting evidence that he showed his cock to an underage teen. Then he posts a photo of the vagina again...

If you need a summary of what happened so far, here it is:

One of the group's admins went along with us essentially bombing the Abduction Support Group. He wanted in, so he created an account with the same name as the pedophile's long time girlfriend, added him to the Alien Abduction Support Group, and within ten minutes of being a member, this man posted a photo of his “girlfriend’s” vagina in the comment section of a status about fist-fighting aliens to a bunch of strangers.

Now. This is where everything gets a little tricky.

So instead of reporting this pedophile like everyone else did, one of the other admins simply deleted all of the pedo posts. So the admin was stuck with the decision to either A) Let the pedophile get away with everything and let this other admin retain the coveted throne of the support group, or B) Stage a coup, remove this unhelpful admin from his seat of power, and continue to unleash the dark truth unto the world until authority takes note.

It was a tough call, but the safety of children is obviously a thousand times more important than one man's belief in the need for support for suffering caused by extra-terrestrials.  

(I can't fucking believe that I just had to write that sentence)

So anyway, "The Brethren" was formed. A team of carefully chosen people working together to stop this psycho from getting away with sending a shitload of dick pics to kids.

Another fake account, identical to the admin who was deleting all of the evidence, was created. We'll call this new account "Grahameo II." We'll call the real account "Grahameo I."

Grahameo II sent messages to the admin we were working with, informing him that he should no longer be a leader (To be clear here, one person was sending messages between his two accounts).

Screenshots were taken of this "chat." They were sent to the founding member of the support group in the hopes that she would remove "Grahameo I" from the page, which would let "Grahameo II" continue to oust the pedophile on this public platform.

The messages sent from Grahameo II grew more and more racist, as it seemed that this was the only way to get the founding admin's attention, since the previous messages didn't seem to be doing the trick.

Unfortunately, there was no response posted or action taken by the founding admin. It became apparent that she rarely uses social media, which was initially an obstacle as well as a pretty huge disappointment for everyone involved. 

But Don't Worry. There's More.

Yet another fake admin account was created that matched her account exactly. This fake founder account was then added as an admin. This account, acting as the founding member, was able to boot "Grahameo I' from the throne of administration to a lowly moderator position. This act of ingenuity and fortitude gave ultimate reign to "The Brethren." They were now able to do as they see fit with the future of the support group and all posts associated. They finally won. And pedophilia lost.

The Brethren vow to continue to be online alien abduction support group vigilantes until proper justice is served.

End Notes:

Sure, we wrestled with an incredible amount moral ambiguity throughout this entire online adventure. But when it's all said and done, does anyone really know what's right and what's wrong? The answer is no. Except for pedophilia. Because that's really fucking wrong. And everyone knows it.

So just remember, the next time you write an article about infiltrating an alien abduction support group on Facebook, you just might end up catching a predator. 

Good luck. Let's keep this world safe.

 

 

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