The Salvation Army Santa has lost his mind. He's moved on from frantically shaking his bucket outside Walmart and has taken his talents elsewhere, mostly to where he's not wanted.
Here are 11 places we saw the Salvation Army Santa where we definitely shouldn't have.
1.) The Front Yard of the House He Burned Down
Watch out, Big Man! That flame's a'roarin!!
This is what happens when you clog the chimney with 325lbs of fat and a huge sack of fake presents. Oh well. At least he's doing his job.
India is no place for the Salvation Army Santa. He needs to jangle them jingles somewhere else.
3.) Outside this Trailer Deep in the Woods of Tennessee
Maybe he lives here. We don't know. We're just trying to understand. That's all.
He definitely lives here though...right?
4.) An Abandoned Town in Eastern Kentucky
There seems to be no difference between India and Kentucky as far as the Salvation Army Santa is concerned. Loose change is loose change. Give it up, hunks and babes.
5.) The Cemetery
We caught the jolly jingler ringing that bell during his graveyard shift. Begging's not a dying business, boys and girls.
6.) The Moon
Everyone needs their space, I guess.
That pun seemed to piss you off. Sounds like someone needs an altitude adjustment.
7.) The Great Wall of China
We thought he'd need a permit for this. But I guess Chris Cringle is allowed to break the rules for the benefit of the greater good.
8.) The Sahara Desert
The holidays are heatin' up, kiddos! Why the fuck is Santa in the desert?
9.) A WWII Concentration Camp
This is nearly unforgivable. Nearly.
10.) The Desert with Lions
The Salvation Army Santa will not be intimidated. He should be though. He really should be. Here he is in yet another life-threatening situation.
Want to chip in so that he can make bail? C'mon, it's Christmas!