Throw out your other nasal sprays, boys and girls.
Introducing: Flonase Pessimist, the 24-Hour solution to all your unwanted positivity and unjustified bursts of joy. Kiss your optimism goodbye, and breathe in deeply the concerning mist of hopelessness!
The full prescription strength, non-drowsy formula promotes the relief of love, hopefulness, and fulfillment, and encourages exaggerated eye rolls and harsh judgments. Within seconds of the first use, you'll be slamming the door, punching the wall, and yelling about how much they "don't fucking get it."
That's right! You're one spray away from a full day of pain! So what are you waiting for? There's no faster way to hurl yourself directly into the void.
Double up on doubt with Flonase Pessimist. It's negativity in a spray bottle.