Moist Mentions: Azzip Pizza's Westsider

by Sam Kubanon December 30, 2015
Azzip, the freshest fast food pizza joint around, isn't afraid to throw a ton of chips on a pizza and then smother it with a sugary Ski drizzle. And we love them for that.
The Westsider
Ingredients:
Marx signature Sweet 'N Sassy BBQ Sauce
Pulled Pork
Red Onion
Crushed Grippos (Yeah, Grippos)
Ski Reduction
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   If you grew up in Evansville, Indiana, you've probably had Ski and Grippos shoved down your throat your entire life, and you probably loved it. If you don't live near Southern Indiana, you're probably wondering something like, "Why is everyone who lives on the west side of Evansville obsessed with these things? Like, who cares?" Most people would answer with something like, "I don't know. I'm pretty sure they're like, made somewhere around here or something, aren't they?" And they would be wrong. But it doesn't even matter because both Ski and Grippos are so good that you don't really need any other reason to be obsessed with them.
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So when Azzip's doors opened, and when they unveiled this catastrophically unhealthy beast of a pizza they called the "Westsider" to the catastrophically unhealthy citizens of Evansville, the entire city flocked. Well, given the city's nearly insurmountable obesity rate, we shouldn't say "Flocked." We should say something like, "they rolled in as fast as they could." And it's a good thing they did. Because this thing is rad.
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The Westsider is one of the most creative fast-food menu items we've ever eaten, and according to Azzip, it's one of their best-sellers. When Azzip smashed courageously into the pizza scene with the "We're going to put chips and ski reduction all over your pizza, and we don't GAF what you think" mentality, everyone said "well...okay." And they blew everyone's fragile little pepperoni-pizza-loving minds. 
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Why it Tastes So Good
1.) The sweetness of the ski reduction
2.) The spice of the Grippos 
3.) The pork (thick, moist, and juicy meat always tastes great)
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Complaints
1.) There isn't a 72-inch version of this pizza
2.) It's more addicting than meth
3.) There isn't a 96-inch version of this pizza
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Azzip's Westsider
Moisture Rating: 5/5 Drops
   
(Moisture has always been about creativity and good taste)
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