MOIST Through the Ages
by Sam Kubanon December 28, 2015
1.) Moses, the Master of Moisture and Father of the Flow.
2.) That's right. Cave paintings get MOISTed too. #NothingIsDry
3.) Most biblical experts believe that Adam and Eve's genitals were originally covered up by MOIST stickers. Then some idiots covered up the stickers with bullshit fig leaves.
4.) The Colosseum, though partially destroyed, is still mostly MOIST.
5.) The Bubonic Plague took many lives, but it couldn't stop the moisture. #MoisturePrevails #ConstantFlow
6.) Jesus used a MOIST brand bed. MOIST beds are now (and always have been) available for $79.99 at any retail establishment that's worth a shit.
8.) "One small step for man. One giant leap for MOISTure."
9.) If anyone understands MOISTure, it's Albert Einstein.