1.) A framed portrait of a horse...named Man o' War
Just one of these is not enough. You will need one in every room of your house, including your shower.
2.) A jersey, flag, or photo of UK basketball, also framed.
If there's one thing the great people of Kentucky love more than horses, its basketball. You might as well put one of these in your shower, too.
3.) Become a Republican.
You might think you are a republican, but you aren't truly until you've learned how to cringe at every mention of the word "Obama." You also aren't a republican until you have more guns in your house than people. #SquashTheDonkey
5.) The three T's. Tobacco and Trucks.
Oh also, forget how to count.